Weeks 6-8 back dated back to 15th May til 29th May
The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. I have been so tired and felt very unmotivated to do anything at all. All I feel like doing is sitting on the couch and watching TV. This is where my mind plays havoc with me as I am usually so active and super busy that just sitting still has been driving me banana’s! I have hardly trained at all, actually I think I have only done weights twice in the last 2 weeks and they have been super light and easy sessions. I am still teaching RPM twice a week and that in itself is really hard. Not only because I am tired but it is hard enough to motivate myself let alone 40 plus other people.
I am trying to eat as best I can but to be honest my diet has fallen off the wayside and I am eating a lot of foods that I haven’t eaten in a long time. I am craving things like toast with honey, pasta, bread and basically anything that is a bad carb, ha! I am listening to my body and giving it what it needs with a few extras, I really don’t want to go crazy eating all that starchy food especially as I can hardly train at the moment.
It is hard to see your once lean and toned physique start to change and the extra kgs that start to pack themselves on, I am used to being in control of my body but for the 1st time in my life someone else is controlling it.
On the flip side of that I am actually loving the mental break from being so anal with my food and always tying to stick to a healthy eating reguime, don’t get me wrong I love to eat clean but the constant pressures for me as a fitness model to have abs and be lean all the time do get very tiring. For the first time in a very long time I am not feeling one bit of guilt and I can tell you that for me this is a very peaceful headspace to be in.
My emotions are high as I am still in the danger zone and I can not tell you how many times a day I check my breasts to make sure that they are still sore and even though I am not enjoying the nausea that comes and goes but when it goes away I do worry that something is wrong. I guess every mother to be goes through this as miscarrieges are so common these days it is hard not to let it plague your mind. My Dr has said once you get to the 8 week mark you are usually in the clear and that has helped me a lot although I still can not wait for the 12 week scan so I can see our healthy baby and then I think I will really be able to celebrate this amazing journey that we are about to go on.